Your due date is rapidly approaching: three days, in fact! Each day, and especially every night when I go to sleep, I think that your mother will go into labor that day (or night). I really thought that about last night, but Sunday is here, and you’re not making your move yet!
As I’ve been preparing for fatherhood, I must admit that there are elements that have scared me. This is normal, you’ll feel that way one day when you’re preparing to be a mother, and your husband will go through some of the same things I’m going through. I have tried to embrace and accept my worries, fears, and doubts, rather than run and hide from them. I believe that will make me a better father, and a much better husband. Anyway, a few months ago, I finally heard the music of an amazing English band, Mumford & Sons. I love their music, and especially their lyrics. One song in particular made me immediately think about you, and about becoming a father. The song is called “Sign No More” (you can listen to it on their website) and the lyrics I’m referring to are, “Love, it will not betray, dismay, or enslave you, it will set you free. [To] be more like the man you were made to be.” That simple, and yet powerful line – borrowed from Shakespeare, I should add – has been a source of comfort and hope for me as your mother and I await your birth.
Leia, raising you will be a beautiful gift, and yet it will be one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done. The thought of this is enough to make me feel scared and inadequate. Yet, as the song says, love, true love, though perhaps it may be difficult at times, will not result in harm. It will not betray, dismay, or enslave a person. Rather, love, true love, will set one (me in this case!) free, to be more the person they were created to be. Leia, learning to love you, with all of its ups and downs, will help to make me the man that I was meant to be. That is a very comforting thought.
July 3, 2011